The Dark Side of Twitter

(Warning: some explicit language ahead. Any foul language in the following post is taken directly from real tweets. There are also multiple references to sexual organs.)

Twitter, there are times when I just hate you.

I wake up, thinking that today is going to be a wonderful day because Gloria Steinem gave me such hope with her interview with Katie Couric (video) and segment on The Colbert Report (video). But no, twitter, you had to mess that up for me.

What do I find among the trending topics worldwide as I start checking our various twitter accounts? Hidden amongst #worldcup, vuvuzela, and a bunch of names I've never heard of I find the hashtag #ifihadapenis.

I think my head may have just exploded.

We live in such a penis-worshiping culture that there's a global trend on twitter about what women would do or be like if they had a penis. And most of it comes down to women saying that they'd screw everyone they'd see or how big their penis would be, how they would whip it out every chance they got. There are tweets using the tag with a question on why is such a topic trending, but none of the hundreds of tweets I've seen since I started this post have looked as how this reflects the type of culture we live in.

This trend is just an example of how our culture today still derides women for being women. Women in today's society are something else, something less because we don't have a penis and we are made to know it. And then when we dare to think outside the box, and imagine ourselves in a different body, we end up reaffirming male stereotypes and the behaviors of masculine hegemony, intentionally or not. The vast majority of the tweets also serve to further belittle and dehumanize women (e.g. "#IfIhadapenis I would be fucking alllll yall bitches #wreckless," "Ima beat that p*ssy out of walls #IfIHadAPenis"). Women, as a whole, have been forced to participate in our own humiliation and degradation.

And those daring attempts to imagine a different sex for ourselves are then taken as entertainment for those who are of the privileged sex. Many tweets from men with the hashtag are about how they do all of these things or how funny all the tweets are. There are a few who don't approve, mostly because they just don't want to know that stuff.

One of the most retweeted tweets of the thread, a top tweet on twitter, is "I see females goin in on #IfIHadAPenis ...pretty funny stuff. But I BET NOT see a single dude tweet #IfIHadAVagina ('_')." My hopes weren't high, but curious to see what was posted on #ifihadavagina I searched it. I wish I hadn't. I have not read so many derogatory, sexist, woman-bashing, homophobic, gay-bashing statements all at once since high school study hall. For those of you who are remotely sensitive to insults TRIGGER WARNING. Here are some tweets from #ifihadavagina: "ANY DUDE THAT TWEETS ABOUT #ifihadapuss or #ifihadavagina is getting publicly banned, unfollowed, and ostracized! Some shit u don't say," "#ifIhadaVagina I'd try to make the vuvuzela sound with it," and "who else would go in on it though? women can't. lol RT @_______: If You're a man going in on #IfIHadAVagina you're gay as fuck."

If anyone out there needed any more proof of why we need feminism today, well here you have it. Abortion rights, equal pay, and female genital mutilation are some of the many topics that have the need for change. But while we are on our soapboxes, at the polls, and at capitol hill, we need to remember that not only is this a political revolution, but a cultural revolution as well. Our struggle will never be truly won if we sit by and watch ourselves be insulted and attacked by hegemonic masculinity. But how do we challenge this?

Twitter can be a horrible, horrible thing. But all the things that can make twitter a dismal place to be, also have the power to make twitter a wonderful tool of social awareness and change. Just imagine if instead of #ifihadapenis trending on twitter, we had #ilovemyvagina or #ilovemybody trending? So I say we reclaim trending topics! Let's turn them away from hateful speech and towards a more understanding, accepting, and feminist attitude! To help in your journey, here are some pro-woman hashtag suggestions for your tweets: #feminist, #feminism, #fem2, #prowoman, #ilovemybody, #ilovemyvagina, #ILMB (short for I love my body), #ILMV (short for I love my vagina), #iamwoman, #iamwomanhearmeroar. All the bolded hashtags have at least one tweet with the hashtag in it. The ones that aren't bolded do not have any tweets, but should. Tweet away, fellow feminist tweeters!
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Photo-credit: respres on flickr.com
Cross-posted at Ode to Patriarchy

Masculinity, Redefined (Successfully)

There has been an intensifying discussion forming around masculinity as it stands today, particularly with feminism in mind. Some have deemed this the Post-Feminism Era, but others see that, in fact, feminism is not disappearing, it is simply expanding its focus from where it began in the '60s.

However, as the definition of feminism fluctuates, we must realize that masculinity is also affected. I believe a Feministing blogger, Marc, said it best: "If feminism is about empowering women with choices, the new masculinity, (and it should be included within feminis[m]), must be about equipping men with the emotional tools to honor women's choices."

For this reason, I was inspired by the ideas expressed in Details magazine's article, "Gentlemen of the World, Unite!" This article uncovered the new definition of masculinity as being a modern gentleman. My other source of interest is the Philadelphia Inquirer's "Manning Up." I was glad to find this article did not involve masculinity advice from football star Peyton Manning.

I'll start by clarifying a few key points about the enlightened masculinity I hope will solidify itself in our culture. The Inquirer has come up with the title of "retrosexual" (not to be confused with Facebook's completely unrelated definition of this word). This is far departed from the "metrosexual," the manicured, pampered guy that continues to make men today uncomfortable.

Moreover, retrosexual applies both to the man's fashion sense and his state of mind.

Since fashion is cyclical in nature, it is not surprising that the retrosexual dresses much like the men of the '50s and '60s. The AMC series Mad Men's protagonist, Don Draper, comes to mind. But worry not, feminists. Only the fashion sense is coming back, not Don's alcoholic tendencies or his "womanizing ways," the Inquirer explains. The sexism, homophobia and lack of emotional expression of that era's gentleman is not part of the package now, nor is the patriarchal attitude.

Co-writer of The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy & Vice Jason Tesauro told Details, “You carry yourself a little differently when you’re wearing pinstripes as opposed to sweatpants.” So we are looking at a man who takes pride in his appearance. He has moved on from the "jeans and a button-down" to something more sophisticated.

Moreover, the retrosexual, or modern gentleman, manages to be rugged and strong while also remaining a caretaker for his family. As Jennifer Sey, vice president of global marketing at Dockers, said in the Inquirer, this movement "celebrates men who can change a tire and a diaper." After all, the women of today are career-oriented while fullfilling their roles as mothers. No reason men cannot perform both roles.

In the context of behavior and self-image, a thought from Nashville writer and columnist John Bridges in Details: "I have found that the boor, the person who tries to barge through everything and get his way, is someone people don’t like. If you try to be civil, it puts you in a negotiating stance with people, and you get places a lot more easily. Being a gentleman gives you the tools to know how to get your way without everybody hating you.” Now that's a man that will command respect without having to demand it.

For a few more references, Details named actors Edward Norton, George Clooney and John Legend as "guys anachronistically committed to upholding high standards in their work and in their personal conduct." But being a gentleman does not demand that you be of a particular social or financial standing. Although a suit can do great things for one's image, this new masculinity is not about owning the most expensive anything.

Instead, it is about a man's ability to appear polished, intelligent and strong without feeling the need to throw it in anyone's face. He is in no way downtrodden; instead, he confidently accepts the changing tides of culture. In his enlightened masculinity, he accepts (and possibly even joins) the feminist movement, rather than attempting to discredit it.

So here's to the modern gentleman. We would be proud to have you by our side.

Photo credits: Rebekah Roy @ fashion-stylist.net, Mad Men Shrugged blog

Real Men Eat Chips

There are so many advertisements for products out there that reinforce ideas of masculinity. We have seen recent examples from this year's Superbowl. Some more examples of these ads can be found on the website, Sociological Images. The post I found cited examples from products like Klondike Bar, Alpo, Oberto beef jerky, and Ketel One.


The main focus was on a website for McCoy Crisps where you go to a virtual bar, play darts, participate in drinking games, and learn manly tips like how not to iron. The site is quite humorous because it seems like the company is trying so hard to specifically target "manly men". Is there really something so innately masculine about chips, or ice cream bars and dog food? People do not realize that when they fall for these marketing ploys they are falling into the trap of masculinity. These ads just prove that the idea of masculinity is fabricated and perpetuated by the media. A lot of these concepts are so ridiculous that if they were not consistently pushed on us by TV, newspaper, etc., we would realize how primitive they truly are.