She's Not a "Real Woman"

The UK's Guardian interviewed over 700 men about their experiences with prostitution. Some of the responses were pretty disturbing. The thoughts and views of some of the men exhibited how prominent misogyny is in our society.

The main issue is that men are able to distinguish prostitutes from "real women". Because these women are willing to do things other women would not, they must be lesser humans because they must have something wrong with them. These women are doing them a favor by performing sexual acts that others would not, but instead of being thankful, men lose respect for them.

Men see sex as something they're taking from women so they should be left with less than they started with. "I don't want them to get any pleasure. I am paying for it and it is her job to give me pleasure. If she enjoys it I would feel cheated." Just because you're paying her doesn't mean she can't enjoy it at the same time. That's like saying people shouldn't get paid if they enjoy their job.

Lastly, men see prostitution as an alternative to rape. They make it seem as if it's one or the other so we should be thankful they chose to have sex with someone who's "willing". You can hardly say that these women are "willing", especially when most of them have been sold either into sex trafficking or exploited by their pimp. Many of the men interviewed admitted that they knew that the prostitute was not there on her own will, but didn't think they should do anything about it and still had sex with the women/girls.

Hey guys, do us a favor. Save your money and make the effort to find somebody who actually wants to have sex with you. Oh, and by the way, before treating these women like scum remember each and every one of them is someone's daughter.

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Photo by Adam Crowe via Flickr

“Oppression Disguised as Liberation”

Prostitution is often called “the oldest profession in the world” and in Amsterdam, this profession is still going strong.

Today, countless numbers of men and women are embarking on planes, not just to see the house where Anne Frank lived or to visit the Picasso Museum, but to take a stroll through the red light district.

For those women who choose to become prostitutes and feel content and empowered by their line of work, I respect their decision. However, this blog is not about them.

For the thousands of women who are forced into prostitution due to economic, social and physical pressures, their occupation should be considered more as evidence of poverty and desperation than as an actual choice. Therefore, it’s important to ask why this profession, especially in Amsterdam, is so readily accepted and supported (financially and socially) by both men and women.

It gets personal for me. During my study abroad in Senegal, I became friends with a female bartender at a local bar. She called me Jennaba, wore bright clothing and shared “blue lagoons” with me after work. It wasn’t until three months later that I discovered she was a prostitute. A French soldier told me that in exchange for sex, he paid for her rent, food and clothes. He bragged that he was “helping” my friend, failing to mention why the exchange of sex was fundamental to aid a woman in poverty. I never asked my friend why she did this. I already knew her answer; in a country where women are prevented (and often stigmatized) for escaping abusive marriages, going to school, obtaining good-paying jobs and living independently, prostitution is necessary for survival.

Many might counter that, “This is Africa, not the developed world.” Yet, the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs found in 2000, that over two thirds of the 30,000 prostitutes in Amsterdam come from Eastern Europe, Latin America, Africa and Asia, regions which fail to reflect the false sense of development and economic freedom Amsterdam provides. According to the National Center against Human Trafficking,

human trafficking in the Netherlands is on the rise (estimates range from 1000 to 7000 on a yearly basis).

So, I guess I’m confused as to how the red light district of Amsterdam has become the “new normal.” While prostitutes who qualify for legal protection in Amsterdam might be better off, for those women who are not protected, and there are many, this legality creates a dangerous atmosphere of acceptance. Dutch authorities distinguish prostitution from sexual exploitation as "full consent to exploitation of the self," but I question how much of that consent is based on free-will. Isn’t Amsterdam just a bigger example of how the acceptance that providing money to prostitutes makes an oftentimes (economically, physically and socially) forced sexual relationship appropriate?

The majority of prostitutes in Amsterdam are either trafficked illegally or make the difficult choice to leave their impoverished countries in order to make a living. How can choice exist if there is only one option? One of my favorite quotes, from The West Wing, observes that, “Oppression isn’t ok just because it’s been institutionalized.” Instead of accepting legalized prostitution in Amsterdam as a matter of protection, choice and free will, let’s explore why many of these women are prostitutes in the first place and acknowledge that legality does not always mean justice.

Pornography - ripe for political action?

This article suggests the political and social environment around pornography is similar to American attitudes toward smoking during the 1960s. At that time, the government had a largely "so-what" attitude toward smoking, but the last few decades have seen a shift in the way smoking is perceived and regulated. The implication seems to be that today's political climate around porn is similarly ripe for activism and legislation around pornography.

Whether or not you agree with pornography and sex work, we do need stronger protections for sex workers. Any legislation or regulation on this issue should be woman-centered, not paternalistic. Sex workers and their families need a fair shot at life, just like anyone else.