Cross Post: "Sex Really" Really Misses the Mark

The following post is crossposted from our friend and colleague Shelby Knox, who attended the SexTech conference this past weekend. The original can be found over at This Is Misogyny. Thanks for tipping us off, Shelby!



There are some organizations in the progressive community that regularly use casual misogyny for gain without caring what values it undermines. See: PETA.

But when Sex Really, a project of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, showed this video, meant to engage 20 somethings, to the sex education community at Sex:Tech this weekend, many of us were open mouthed with shock. If you teach sex education on the ground for any amount of time you know one of the biggest challenges is getting young people to unlearn gender stereotypes around sex.

If you don’t know the ones I’m talking about, Sex Really has done a pretty good job of laying them out as fact: men are pigs with raging hormones that can only process sex on a Neanderthal level. They sit around and demean women because they lack the emotional capacity to have substantive relationships. And women are too stupid, or so focused on “catching a man,” that they don’t even notice their dude’s a d-bag.

What’s the point of this triggering, heteronormative train wreck? It seems to be that you better use protection because the person you’re sleeping with is such a jerk you wouldn’t wanna have their babies.

It’s worth mentioning that Sex Really is headed by Laura Sessions Stepp, rape apologist and virginity crusader extraordinaire. Her work has riled up the feminist community before over her hysteria-inducing case study passed off as research on the “hookup culture” and the ridiculous idea of “gray rape.” Therefore this video isn’t a total shock — and her hiring might be yet another sign it’s time for the sex education community to take a big step away from the increasingly conservative National Campaign — but it’s still unacceptable.

This is video 1 in a 12 part series. Young people really can’t deal with 11 more slaps in the face like this one. Go to the video and comment - tell Sex Really to ask actual youth what they need and want. You can also shoot Ms. Stepp an email: laura.stepp@sexreally.com

Who wants to lead the revolution?

In my last post I discussed television and its representation of teen parenting. For this post I was eager to look for progressive groups, people, and shows that are paving the way for teen sexuality. While there are many feminist sites obviously pro-sex education, I wanted to highlight some awesome groups working specifically in the area of sex education for teens.

Midwest Teen Sex Show- A hilarious comedy troop creating web-episodes that center on a theme. Past themes have been prom, vaginas, hook ups, and condoms. What I love about this show is how they make the information easy to understand and enjoyable. Sex information can sometimes come across as hard to grasp (often becoming a biology class) and sometimes leaves teens with questions they are too shy to ask. This show makes room for these questions and makes them accessible. This show has helped the sex-ed movement move on to the laptops of the curious teens who need it the most (the Midwest- where abstinence-only runs deep)

ScarletTeen- Ok I have to say that I am so down with this site. First of all the plethora of information they give is amazing. Their topics include: coming out of the closet, knowing what is best for yourself sexually at any age, how to shave your genitals, advice boards on sexual health, sexuality, and relationships, how to masturbate, consent and knowing your line, information on all types of birth control, and general info on sexual health questions. I love this site because they treat everyone as smart confident decision makers. They do not talk down to teens or adults who may not know this info and really need it. They cover the personal relationships that come with sex, and don’t treat it as just sex (because it’s not!) They allow you text questions, pose questions on their message boards, and contribute to their blog. In my opinion this site is revolutionary in the pro sex-ed movement.

The New York Times has also showcased a program in North Carolina where teens can anonymously text their sex questions, such as “If you take a shower before you have sex, are you less likely to get pregnant?” and “Does a normal penis have wrinkles?” What this article shows us is the need for sites like Scarleteen and The Midwest Teen Sex Show.

These are just a few of many people working to make sex education accessible for teens. Without groups like these teens would be left to understand their sexuality through health class taught by P.E. teachers. I am excited to see these programs above thriving. People, especially teens are very complex and we need programs that help them understand their feelings and desires in relation to their sexuality, and the groups above are at the forefront of creating that environment.

Teen Parent Shows… Good or bad?

Before I jump into this question, I would like to introduce myself. I am Annie Neimand, a new intern at the Los Angeles office! Woo! I have been given allowance to use my feminist eye to write, and sometimes rant, about questionable things in our society. So as my first blog… drum roll please...I have decided to ask the question: Are shows like MTV’s Teen Mom, The CW’s Life Unexpected, and ABC Family’s The Secret Life of an American Teen, good or bad for American teens?

I can’t help but feel somewhat stoked that there are shows discussing teen pregnancy, but I somehow feel like they are rooting for some team other than mine. I am of course progressively pro-choice and pro sex-ed, but these shows don’t seem to tackle any of those things. In fact it seems to be creating a whole different side, a side that capitalizes on and glamorizes teen mommies! Oy!

These shows, which are centered on young women making ‘choices’ about their lives and families, don’t discuss abortion or even highlight it as an option. They show girls either keeping their babies or opting for adoption.
Note: they seem to portray adoption as a choice you will eventually feel incredibly regretful of. Hmm…

Furthermore, I feel like these shows should look at why these girls got pregnant in the first place, and why they decided to keep it. For instance, maybe teen A didn’t know about contraception, or maybe teen B didn’t have a clinic or a parent to turn to. I think these factors would make the show be and mean something more than another teen drama.

You know, I would like to see an undercover show where they expose abstinence-only education or the anti-choice rhetoric as a culprit in the teen mom scenario, or at the very least MTV can give Abstinence-only the moon man it deserves.

So after reading my clearly unbiased bit, do you think this is a step forward or backward for the pro-choice/sex-ed platform? Do you think these issues belong together? What do you think?


If you have any ideas or questions for me you can email me at aneimand@feminist.org

Ignorance Leads to Unsexy Consequences

Easy or prudish? Those are the two categories that any American is bound to be placed, should they live in Europe. Sad as it may be, when I was working in France, it wasn't a rare occurrence to be told statements like "American girls are afraid of sex, they are like nuns!" and "Rumor has it, Americans will have oral sex before having vaginal intercourse...French women won't do that!" all in the same week.

While neither "easy" nor "prudish" is a desired title, stereotypes don't exist in a vacuum and this image of Americans represents a lot about our culture. With the abstinence-only programs in curriculum's across the nation, students are educated about sexuality in terms of waiting, but are left in the dark when hormones inevitably kick in and tempt them to join the 95% Americans who have sex before marriage ( feministing.com/Guttmacher Institute.) Sure, these programs may create a more passionate, uncontrollable, "heat of the moment" feeling when youth first start experimenting with sexuality, but it's not giving them the information necessary to make decisions about their health.

That unpreparedness is starting to show. In fact, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has just announced that America is "among the highest rates of STDs of any developed country in the world," linking a lack of comprehensive sex education as a main reason for our poor ranking.

Abstinence-only programs are not working. Out of any age group, it is young adults that are most affected: each year, almost 19 million newly sexually transmitted infections are found in 15-24 year olds!

Wrap your brain around these figures (brought to you by Reuters and the CDC):

* 1.2 million cases of chlamydia were reported in 2008, up from 1.1 million in 2007.

* Nearly 337,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported.

* Adolescent girls 15 to 19 years had the most chlamydia and gonorrhea cases of any age group at 409,531.

* Blacks, who represent 12 percent of the U.S. population, accounted for about 71 percent of reported gonorrhea cases and almost half of all chlamydia and syphilis cases in 2008.

* Black women 15 to 19 had the highest rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea.

* 13,500 syphilis cases were reported in 2008, an almost 18 percent increase from 2007.

* 63 percent of syphilis cases were among men who have sex with men.

* Syphilis rates among women increased 36 percent from 2007 to 2008.

Fired Up? Now go educate yourself! Speak to someone about your options and proper condom use! If you're part of a campus FMLA, take it to the next step by working with your regional campus organizer to arrange for a speaker to educate your campus! Take control of your sexual education to avoid becoming a statistic or culture stereotype!

photo credit: Alex_Morrice at photoshop.com

One More Reason To Celebrate The End of the Bush Era

The Center for Disease Control's Press Release, issued on July 16th, states that reproductive health and education for teens and people in their twenties has immensly improved since Bush left office. The report found there were approximately 745,000 pregnancies among U.S. females under the age of 20 in 2004, one third of adolescents had not received instruction on methods of birth control before age 18, and Syphilis cases among teens and young adults aged 15-19 and 20-24 years increased in both males and females.

Not only were the resources limited, the ones that were available were WRONG! When schools did recieve sex-education it was usually in the form of scare-tactics, basically saying, you can do this but your probably still going to pay for your irresponsible and bad choices. Feministing discovered that a book called, In Me, My World, My Future was used in public schools across the country. This book taught that birth control pills can cause infertility later in life. And the book ALSO said that condoms cause cancer? Wow, no wonder the rise of teen pregnancy and we now get the privledge of watching shows like 16 and Pregnant on MTV . Thanks to the Bush administration spending a decade "abstaining" from delivering correct information to the public, it is evident that no form of abstaining really works when concerning sexual matters.

Hopefully, even the farthest of right are starting to comprehend that, guess what, people are going to have sex, whether you want them to or not. Ask Bristol Palin.

Therefore, with this new 111th Congress, hopefully the healing can begin and correct information can begin to be distributed. And I hope this has to go without mentioning on a feminist blog, but the illimination in funding for abstinence only sex ed programs, Im sure does not hurt our chances at a better, more sexually educated, healthier youth.

I Heart Female Orgasm on an International Level

Many college students have had the pleasure of attending an I <3 Female Orgasm lecture by sex experts Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot. They cover controversial topics ranging from dating tips, to masturbation, and finally, uncovering the myth of the female orgasm. Miller and Solot argue that open discussions about sex are important, and they discuss books and resources that curious teens and young adults can reference.

However, it seems that this idea of open sex ed has spread overseas, and Wedad Lootah, marital counselor from Dubai, UAE, has created quite the controversy by publishing her book, “Top Secret: Sexual Guidance for Married Couples.” She openly discusses similar topics as Miller and Solot through her book, ranging from safe sex to the female orgasm, yet she quotes the Qur’an throughout the course of the book.

She has since received both positive and negative responses from her book, including a death threat. She has also been accused of straying from Islam, even though her book has been deemed acceptable for public consumption by a Mufti (religious scholar). It will be interesting to see if more books like this will become popular in the middle east.

Great Post on Comprehansive Sexuality Education

For an indepth look at the state of sexuality education in the US, check out Pam Chamberlain's post on RHRealityCheck entitled, "Abstaining from the Truth: Sex Education as Ideology."  

To get involved with FMF's nationwide demand to defund abstinence only programs and crisis pregnancy centers, visit www.feministcampus.org.  

Join FMF's campaign to Expose Fake Clinics and STOP Abstinence Only Funding, sign the petition, take action on campus!