Forced Marriage can "Correct" Gay Men

The U.K.'s Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) reports that there was a 65% increase in the calls reporting cases of men in forced marriage in 2009. The unit received 134 calls and emails in 2008, but the following year, FMU received 220 calls and emails reporting male victims.

Last year, men in Britain made up a 14% of the 1,682 forced marriage cases total reported. However, under-reporting has led FMU to believe that there could be a total of 10,ooo British citizens in forced marriage. In addition, they estimate that 20% of these cases involve a male victim.

According to Foreign Office Minister Jeremy Browne, men find it harder than women to ask for help when faced with forced marriage. With few men coming forward, young men between the age of 15 and 24 years continue to face physical and sexual violence, confinement and at times, being sent to other countries for not complying with their families' wishes.

Why is this happening to men? Hasn't forced marriage usually been a problem for women?

While many think of forced marriage as a crime that occurs against women, men also experience this form of human trafficking. Unsurprisingly, men are subjected to forced marriage because they are gay or their families believe that they might be gay. Reinforcing the societal expectation of heterosexuality, families use forced marriage as a means to "correct" a man's sexual orientation.

I also just want to point out that homosexuality is one reason that some women have been subjected to forced marriage. There is no reason that anyone, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation (or any other reason!), should be forced into marriage.

Photo Credit: BBC News

A Gentleman That Doesn't Have To Be Gentle

I find this new trend in men talking about masculinity really interesting. It seems that everywhere you look there is a new example of how men are trying to prove their still men. Like this post via feministing.

Details magazine had an article this week that defined a new masculinity. It instructs men to get their balls back, find something they want, and go for it.

The goal is to move away from:

"The average 21st-century guy is a quilted man, tucked under a fluffy coverlet and surrounded by throw pillows. His world is one of comfort and frippery. His idea of agony is getting his chest waxed—which, to be fair, is said to be agonizing—and his idea of frustration is trying to unclog the john while his wife makes fun of him."

Our new man is:

"a man of words and action. A refined badass. He's a gentleman, absolutely, but that doesn't mean he always has to be gentle."

He should do things like love poetry and be okay with playing a gay men in movies but still should be able to kick ass. Basically Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes meets James Franco.

My question is does this new masculinity include being respectful of women? Or is it just like all the other masculinities of the past that don't take into account what women think or feel? And why does this new man still have to be violent? Can't he be strong willed and still get what he wants without having to beat people up?

This isn't necessarily the new masculinity we had hoped for. But maybe it's a step in the right direction??

And back to reality

So, after my brief hiatus from the Choices Campus blog, mostly due to a lack of internet, I've returned. As many of you may or may not know, Sweden has a pretty good reputation for gender equality. There are some pretty great things over here, you know, the enormous amount of paid parental leave and the subsidized day care so women are back in the work force, for example.

However, while I was pondering the benefits of paid parental leave this morning on the train, I saw the ad on the back page of the Stockholm metro newspaper. It featured a woman tied and gagged to a chair, with her back to us. Facing her were two men, one that was loosening his tie and the other was maybe cracking his knuckles or something. Since I have a very basic level of Swedish, I have no idea what it was about, but it was a little unnerving to say the least.

And just now, while reading up on the events of the world, I saw some disturbing photos of Rihanna on the Huffington Post. I think the title "Rihanna Topless and Muzzled in Italian Vogue" gives you a good idea of what they are, and why I might find them so disturbing. Anyone who's read about women and advertising knows the meaning of having women with covered mouths.

Muzzling Rihanna just takes that to a whole other level. Not to mention, that there seems to be a general effort to silence women. There's a movement that's trying to silence women's voices about their bodies and reproductive rights. What does it mean to have Rihanna, a survivor of violence, shown muzzled?

We can't easily dismiss the types of images of women in the media because those are the images that people don't usually think about it, and they seem to point to the underlying issues and emotions of a significant portion of our society. Even in Sweden where they boast about gender equity, it means something that there are violent images displayed for all to see.
Photo courtesy of www.flickr/mr_salvis_are

It's a wild world

Violence against women is something that has existed for centuries, but recent events have really got me even more concerned about it. I was just going about my business this morning when I saw this poem that literally had me breaking out in a cold sweat.

What with that guy shooting women at that gym, and the rising rates of male rape in the Congo the world is just really overwhelming at the moment.

It is just terrifying to think that we live in a world where men think that violence, especially sexual violence, is an actual option for dealing with personal problems, anger, or frustration.

Obviously this is something I have thought about before, it's just that the events/stories of this week are hitting me like a ton of iron. Part of me gets mad that I have to be more concerned about my safety than a man does.

Part of me just wants to say to hell with self-policing and following the safety tips that are posted in women's bathrooms on college campuses. Frankly, I think that I should be able to live my life without having to mold my schedule around the times and places that a man would most likely attack me. But, of course, that is not all that realistic. And, if I did that and something happened to me, the majority of people would just say that it's my fault.
Photo courtesy of www.flickr/steve rhodes

Male or Female, Sexual Violence Is the Arm of Oppression

The Congo is going through one of the most unstable, violent periods of its history. We have heard about the thousands of women who are raped in an effort to control the population. But what we are probably less aware of is the growing number of male rape survivors in the area.

The New York Times has a piece about this less well known epidemic. According to the article, there are probably hundreds of male rape survivors in the area.

Just as sexual violence has been used to exert power over women for centuries, it is being used to destroy the lives of these men for the same reason. The article states that being raped is a socially stigmatizing experience for these men who are often ostracized because of a negative view of homosexuality. They are often viewed by others as being less masculine.

I think it is important to look at how sexual violence is one way that power relations and oppression can be enacted against everyone, regardless of sexuality, gender, race, or class. The problem is sexual violence and traditional norms of masculine behavior. Regardless of whether or not the victim is male or female, the aggressors are using behaviors that they have been taught to use to reinforce their masculinity and power positions that are completely inhumane and unacceptable.

Photo courtesy of www.flickr/halfcrazy

Landmine pageant cancelled

While I think that we can all agree that beauty pageants are generally not a feminist event, there's one that I think might be actually a good idea. In an effort to empower women injured in landmine explosions, a group in Cambodia organized a pageant for the women.

The event was organized to raise awareness of the terrible and devastating impact landmines have on human lives. Unfortunately, the Cambodian government has canceled the event. It's really too bad. These women's lives were permanently changed by landmines, and I think that it is a good idea to celebrate these women not only for surviving but for also believing in their own beauty and worth.

You should look through the photos of the women. They are incredible. I think that this also exposes how ridiculous the construction of beauty is on our country when we think about how some women waste hundreds of dollars and minutes lamenting the fact that they have visible pores when there are women who have gone through an awful accident and lost limbs and still feel that they are beautiful.

And they should believe that they are beautiful, because they are. It makes me sad that these women have been denied an opportunity that would have empowered them, and raised awareness of a serious problem.
Photo courtesy of www.flickr/worldbank

Fighting Breaks Out in South Korean Parliament

Today in South Korean parliament, a fight broke out when opposing sides came to a disagreement about several media reform bills. I suppose "fight" is a weak word, considering the number of people involved, and the amount of punches thrown. Both men and women were guilty of screaming, jumping onto the speaker's podium, and tearing one another to the ground. According to the Associated Press, "the bills ease ownership barriers between print media and TV networks. One of them allows businesses including newspapers to buy up to 10 percent of a terrestrial TV channel, and up to 30 percent of a cable channel." The same article also mentions South Korean President Lee Myung-Bak's desire to de-regulate the media in an attempt to create jobs, although many argue that more conservative, government run networks will be formed.

The question is, why the violence? Opposition members barred doors so that no one could exit. This is surely not the first time a fight has been started due to politics, but what, within the media of South Korea, is crucial enough to start such controversy?

Naturally, I take this idea back to America, and imagine Barbara Boxer trying to take down Orrin Hatch over women's reproductive rights, and wonder the likelihood of such violence occurring within our own government? With politicians pitted against one another on health care, the economy, and much more, who knows what will happen before the August recession in congress?

Photo courtesy of D I E G O on Flickr

Keeping Violence Away from Clinics

We have a sex offender registry that limits where offenders can live and work in order to prevent further violence and protect those who may be in potentially harmed by the offender. Jacob Appel, on the Huffington Post, argues that a similar system should be applied to those who have conspired to or have commited abortion clinic violence.

Appel argues this not out of personal politics, but out of common sense. He says, "Much as we do not permit convicted pedophiles to teach kindergarten or convicted hijackers to board airplanes, common sense dictates that individuals who have been imprisoned for plotting violence against abortion clinics should never again be permitted anywhere near such facilities."

This registry, Appel believes, would hopefully decrease clinic violence since a lot of violence is by multiple offenders, like Scott Roeder. Appel also believes that an abortion violence registry would facilitate a calmer, more rational discussion about abortion in our country.

Amazing Choice

(to the tune of "Amazing Grace")

Amazing choice
That is our right
For now and evermore
It won't be lost because we'll fight
To clear the clinic door

The bullies try to make us fear
But women stand up strong
For choice, that right that we hold dear,
We'll right their every wrong