Am I "good woman?"

For a Monday morning, I'm feeling pretty philosophical. I was reading through stuff on the Huffington Post like I usually do, and I stumbled upon a post by this middle schooler about what makes a good man. While the fact that he thinks that being a "good" man is about way more than just being athletic and attractive is important, it really got me thinking about if there is a similar thing among women.

Do we have a group of characteristics that we think of as making us either "good" or "bad" women?

Honestly, if someone told me that I was a "good woman" I would automatically get defensive because I associate that with the whole hegemony of patriarchy. You know, the whole a "good woman" has babies and is subservient to her husband idea.

I don't know if I could ever be told that, especially by a man, and not think that it was extremely patronizing and essentilizing. Obviously I have a uterus, but it should be pretty clear that I am not just a walking uterus, so why qualify my "goodness" as being related to my "womanness?" Can't I just exist, as a woman, and be perfectly good at being a woman without fulfilling some sort of standards? And can't I be "good" just as a person?

The things that I think of making someone a "good woman," if I have to use that term, are just qualities that I think of as making someone a good person. Why do we need qualities that make someone a good gendered person? Isn't having that just driving us towards stereotypes? I mean, when I think about this "good men" idea, I think of it as being defined in relation to women, and that presents a whole other group of problems.

Am I crazy, or is just not possible to use "good woman" and not have it seem anti-feminist? Do we need to reappropriate "good woman" or redefine it?

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